"Mid-sized Midwestern state with long history of progressive politics, bipartisan cooperation, and civil discourse. State considered key to sitting President's re-election strategy. No ethics required. Full benefit package, including fully funded legal defense fund. Ideal candidate will have photogenic face, willingness to abandon all integrity and kowtow to Big Money, including Wisconsin Manufacturers & Commerce and the Koch Brothers; membership in ALEC a plus. Apply at www. wisconsin.gov*."
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