One of my volunteer is to give rides to people who are disabled or carless or who perhaps just don't drive in the winter. A local nonprofit organizes the effort, and we volunteers take people to medical appointments and the grocery store and the food shelf and the dollar store.
Anyway.
The elderly lady I took today -- she is 80 if she is a day but still sharp -- likes to tell jokes. Here are the three she told me.
An elderly couple were sitting eating breakfast, and the wife remarked, "We used to sit and eat breakfast just like this 50 years ago."
The husband replied, "Yes, but back then we were buck nekkid!"
She said, "Well, let'd do it that way again, just for old time's sake." And so they trouped back upstairs, took off their clothes, and returned to the breakfast table.
After a minute, the wife said, "Honey, my nipples are just as hot now as they were back then!"
The husband said, "Well, duh! One is in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
The pastor goes to visit an elderly woman in his congregation. As she is getting coffee and cookies in the kitchen, he admires the beautiful bouquet on her electric organ. Then he notices that, right in the center, is a condom. When she returns from the kitchen, he asks her about it.
"Oh, that," she says. "I was walking in the park and I found this little foil packet on the ground. I opened it, and the instructions said, 'Place on your organ to prevent disease.' So I did, and I haven't had so much as a sniffle all year!"
...and when I remember the third joke she told me, I'll let y'all know.
photo credit: SCARBOROUGH HUMOUR (155) via photopin (license)
scarborough humour febmrchapril 2012 (3) via photopin (license)
